Letting Them Learn The Hard Way

»
S
I
D
E
B
A
R
«

Letting Them Learn The Hard Way

September 9th, 2008 by Mommie

Try and try as I might, my daughter still doesn’t listen all the time (and slowly becoming never). I’m not surprised, not in the least, but now I know how my mom must have felt having me (the forever know-it-all) as her daughter. That being said, I’m dealing with the internal struggle of letting her do it the hard way or helping her along…

Case in point, her class was the first class to win a pajama party at school, which they won by being the quietest in the halls. They all got to wear their pajamas to school and have a party during the day. It was a big deal. So the night before I talked with her on which PJ’s she wanted to wear and we talked about packing tennis shoes in her backpack for gym, stuff like that. She seemed excited about it. Right before bed she started crying saying that she didn’t want to wear PJ’s to school.

I tried to tell her that all the other kids would be wearing them, she just kept telling me that no they won’t and you don’t have to wear PJ’s to school, only if you want. I didn’t want it to turn into a big deal so I just laid out jeans and a t-shirt for her to wear.

The next morning, we were the first to arrive at school. She was in a good mood until the other 26 kids showed up, all in their PJ’s. The look on her face was straight sad, she had a monstrous frown on. I wanted to scream “I TOLD YOU SO”, but what came out was, “wow, look at all the kids in pj’s”. One other boy showed up without PJ’s and he was so embarrassed he wouldn’t even go into his class.

So should I have let her walk around all day in jeans or should I have brought her PJ’s from home? I left her in jeans. Is that letting her learn the hard way? I guess so. She definitely tried to play it cool when I picked her up, but I know that it must have been hard. Where do you draw the line and stop trying to keep them safe from everything and let them make their own choices? For me, it’s one at a time…

DON’T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE SO YOU DON’T MISS A THING!

9 Responses

Ivory writes:
September 9th, 2008 at 1:06 pm

Wow, I almost had a heart attack when I saw that pic. HA!

Your quandary, though….hmmm, I’m a sucker-mom. I’d have told her she could wear what she wanted, as long as she brought the jammies in her backpack, just in case.
Grace writes:
September 9th, 2008 at 1:49 pm

It is tough when things like that happen, but I try my best to believe that what you did was exactly the right thing. I know it doesn’t make it any easier on you though.

I came by today to let you know that I’ve given you an award. Go to http://andthisismypart.blogspot.com/2008/09/i-just-received-award.html to check it out.
iris writes:
September 9th, 2008 at 2:32 pm

I think you’ve done a really great job of teaching your kids. I will do the same too if i am in the same situation — because the more they grow bigger and their mind developed the more they become confident especially when they know can make their own decision (With boundary of course). it’s a great practice aswell as their decision making ability will be developed in the process especially when they make mistakes, that where they learn.
aybi writes:
September 9th, 2008 at 8:20 pm

I agree, it happened to me before, my daughter wanted to wear jeans, she doesn’t want to wear her P.E. Uniform to the field trip. She told me she’s so tired of wearing it. and wanted to look different. When the day came, only one of her classmates wore jeans too. And the rest looks all nice in their P.E. I can’t describe the look on her face.. Great post!
Ginny writes:
September 10th, 2008 at 8:17 am

My daughter is very is very similar. I go back & forth as well. Sometimes I help, other times I make her deal with it. My biggest thing is homework, etc. Do I keep bugging her so she does well or do I let her make the choices & get bad grades, etc. Do you have issues with doing school work?

For the pj party, I would have done the same thing. Luckily my dd rides the bus, so it is easier, lol.
Lorie writes:
September 10th, 2008 at 6:23 pm

You did the right thing, for sure. It was hard — I’m sure. But next time she will think twice about not listening to your advice. Great job!
Pearl writes:
September 12th, 2008 at 4:53 am

I think you did the right thing. Our kids should learn some things the hard way so that they’ll remember it better the next time it happens. I’ve done the same thing a few times with my kids and surely, they’ve learned a lot from those incidents. Thanks… have a great weekend!
Alisha writes:
September 12th, 2008 at 1:02 pm

Hmm, that’s a hard one. I would probably bring them along in the car in case he/she changed their mind. I could totally relate even now as adult since I’m a little shy and wouldn’t want to stand out.
BCS writes:
September 15th, 2008 at 2:14 am

I do this whenever my son (who’s just about to turn 3) wouldn’t listen to me or mommy… and half of the time it ends with “There! You see?” (oftentimes with my son crying).