Some Things to Consider Before Staying Home With the Kids

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Some Things to Consider Before Staying Home With the Kids

January 21st, 2008 by Mommie

So it’s decision time. You don’t know if you should stay home with the kids or continue to work out in the real world. I know when that decision came up for me, it was a rather hard one. I was at a great point in my career, earning more than I ever thought I would. I had gained respect in the business world, something I worked very hard to obtain. I had the house, the BMW in the garage, the 401k was looking extremely nice. Now along comes a baby…

We already had one child in daycare, and man that was pricey, even when we were getting a great deal on the rate. So now we’d have two, so what to do?

There are numerous things to consider before you make the jump:

1. Can you afford it? Guess what, we couldn’t. When the decision raised it head, there was no way we could cut out my income. None. But being in the accounting/finance field for eternity made me sit down and see if there was a way we could. Many budget revisions later, I could stay home, but there would have to be changes.

2. Are you willing to change some things in your lifestyle? Now if you’re married to a person that brings home at least three digits, good for you. This probably won’t apply to you. If you’re like the rest of America and need two incomes to survive, this is for you. In order for me to make the jump, we had to change a lot of things in our life. Case in point, the BMW is gone (tear). The car was great, but the payment would be too much for us, not to mention the insane service fees, so we traded it in for a car with a much lower payment and one we can work on ourselves. We changed pretty much everything. We downgraded our cable, my husband dropped out of karate (something he loved but was costing us $300/mo), we don’t eat out like we used to, I had to learn to cook, yadda, yadda, yadda, and i.e. we changed everything!

3. Would you really want to stay home? The adjustment curve for many women isn’t just =poof= you’re now a happy stay at home mom. You’re used to your either your kids being with someone else at daycare all day or you have a new baby and who knows what the days will end up looking like. Will you get bored? Do you think you’ll have free time to read tons of books? Do your research before making the leap, it’ll be different than your expectations, I’m sure.

No matter what, take time in your decision and weigh all your options. Being able to stay home with your kids is a wonderful opportunity for both you and your kids!
!

6 Responses

Grace writes:
January 21st, 2008 at 12:56 pm

Went through this both times we had children, and yes, I still work outside the home.

For us it all came down to if we were willing to live with the changes and the sacrifices to make it work (and more importantly NOT resent the children for a decision we made.) I was at the point I could do that, but I know that my hubby was not. So, since I’m still a “working mom” (on a side note: I dislike that term “working mom” cause aren’t all moms working??? I digress), I make sure that my hubby doesn’t pull the “I’ve been at work ALL DAY and I’m SOOOOOO tired. Can’t you just take care of it?” routine on me. In his defense, he’s only done that once that I can recall in the 7 years we’ve had children…he also cooks dinner every night as he gets off from work earlier than I do…so I’m not complaining.

My point is: Both partners have to be onboard with the changes…if not different compromises need to be made.
Shelia writes:
January 21st, 2008 at 6:28 pm

This is such a difficult decision. Just as you stated in your post, after working hard and gaining respect in the workplace, it’s hard to give that up. The work travel, the network acquaintances, the independence of your own pay check, etc. At the same time, there’s not even a question as to whether you want to be the best mom you can be 24/7.

As I listen at my college-aged children talk about their childhood now, I obviously did the right thing. And I thank God that we could afford to do it, with modifications of course. I don’t regret the decision one day. I just wish I could have had a little of my cake and ate it too.
Sue Doe-Nim writes:
January 22nd, 2008 at 10:39 am

I’d say this is a discussion to have when you’re dating or engaged.

I never would have married a man who would have wanted me in the workforce and my children in childcare.

I know many marriages that crumble because these discussions are many years too late.
Linda writes:
January 22nd, 2008 at 5:58 pm

We, together, had decided that we would make it work on one salary and I stayed home. Because I was not college educated, my salary was not going to be as high as my husband’s…even though, at the time, we were making close to the same amount. But we budgeted. And now, I am home with my 2…and even when they are at school full time, I will still “be home”…I’ll volunteer at their school(s), and perhaps build onto my dream job of photography. But it is indeed a sacrifice, and if you aren’t willing or able to make the needed changes (because I know it’s not easy when you’ve got mortgages, utilities, etc, and debt), then you have to do what is best for everyone.

I do miss constant adult contact, though. I know I’m in need of some adult time when I say to other adults “I’m going to the potty, be right back!”
Jared writes:
January 22nd, 2008 at 10:11 pm

We just decided to have my wife stay at home, and you are right. We are going to have to make some big changes. We haven’t got it figured out yet, but I’m sure we will in time. Kinda scary!

BTW: Thanks for the recommendation on EntreCard!
Jeff Iversen writes:
February 29th, 2008 at 3:44 pm

Quitting my job was scary. What if . . . .? My kids are in their 80’s! They are my parents and they both have dementia. So, they are both like a couple of two year olds. I quit so I could take care of them full time. I put my business skills to work to find something I could do from home. It had to be something I could be proud of. I wanted to hold my head high in my community. I’m a professional who was looking for a serious income that I could count on. It took some searching but I finally found a way to do it. I can choose my own hours and my family doesn’t get short changed. To read my story and others, go to my web page at
http://jeffiversen.com