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Stigma of Stay at Home Dads

April 4th, 2008 by Mommie

Yesterday on the Today show they had a segment on stay at home dads and discussed the stigma attached to being one. It was a quite interesting piece. I had a boss at one time, he was successful, a CPA, had worked for Arthur Anderson, he was Controller and then took on the CFO position at our company. This guy was awesome. No joke, they had a daughter and that was it, he left it all to be a stay at home dad.

I always thought he’d skip out on that and go back to the corporate world, but he is still, years later, at home with his now two children. He does some ventures from home, but he’s definitely a stay at home dad.

So is the stigma of the Mr. Mom going away in this age? I don’t think it is. Last night I went on a field trip with my daughters girl scout troop to the police station. One little girl was late, she was with her dad. All the other moms just kid of smiled, I’m sure thinking if she was with her mom she might have been on time.

But are moms the better care givers? I don’t think they’re better at all. Both parents, mom or dad, can be the primary care giver.

Tell me what you think?
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3 Responses

Mrs. Micah writes:
April 4th, 2008 at 8:23 pm

I hope that guys start to feel more comfortable with being SAHDs. That’s what my FIL should have been doing all along, even if he sometimes scared the kids by being depressed. Work made him miserable but he comes to life when he’s with kids. On the other hand, MIL finds her various jobs quite fulfilling. She’s the type who, when a SAHM, founded an entire accredited homeschooling umbrella and then got her MA in psychology. It worked so well that he ended up leaving his job and she worked hers. Family was much happier.
Bob O writes:
April 5th, 2008 at 3:14 am

Well..lets just start off with..I got custody of my two boys in the divorce 10 years ago. I was their sole source of support (and sometimes still have to chip in!) …their mother was a deadbeat..yes..moms can be deadbeats too! No..I’m not knocking moms at all. Just saying..Daddy’s can be the primary caregiver also. So..did the whole thing..I was also working for Pricewaterhouse at the time..was on the road frequently..so the kids would stay with my parents when I was gone. I was fortunate enough to find a single mom of two! Actually, our kids founds us! Her son was in my son’s class..plus I was a football coach and he played on same team as my son..I coached my younger son at that time. I knew her son and daughter well before I ever met her. In any case..we got to know each..and..well..we married..blended the families. She was a single mom raising two kids on a waitress salary..but..she saved and bought her own home, her own car, and had gone back to school..Wow! What a woman. She never really got a chance to just be the mommy..she was too busy taking care of business. After we married..I told her she could quit working and go back to school full time..she got her RN degree. During her schooling..she got pregnant. Had our first child while she was still going to school. Prior to her getting pregnant..I change jobs so that I wouldn’t have to travel anymore. After our first child was born she took a break for 3 months. When it was time for her to go back to school, I was fortunate enough to be able to work from home for 3 months until our son turned 3 and we could find a babysitter. I enjoyed every day being with him! Bottom line..I really do enjoy being with the kids and taking care of them. I know there are other dads out there just like me. I would love to be a SAHD! Instead..my wife quit work to stay home and finally be a mommy!
Marty writes:
April 5th, 2008 at 8:14 am

…due to long held stereotypes, the “stay at home dad” stigma is real and likely to continue. I think a lot of that feeling has to to with the importance most men place on their career and position in their industry as the many identifier of who they are.