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When To Have That Next Baby
By Mommie | February 28, 2008
As I held rocked my sleeping son in my arms tonight, I gazed at his perfect face and was in awe. How could this perfect creature come out of me? I wondered what he will be when he grows up and then I teared up. I’ve been blessed with such a miracle. As I held him, cuddling him warm in my safe arms I wondered what it would be like to have him meet his baby sister or brother. But when is the right time to have another baby?
After I gave birth, I was ready for another one. I’m insane, I know. I couldn’t walk during pregnancy, my husband had to literally push one of my hip joints back into place so I could sleep at night, I had 1st and 3rd trimester morning sickness and came down with strep 4 times during my pregnancy! I was sick the whole time and in quite a lot of pain. But I remember going to see my ob at my 3 months and asked her if we could start trying. She laughed at me and said they recommend at least waiting a year.
That answer made my husband happy, I’m sure, as we were blessed with a colicky baby, which is enough to make you want to beat your head into a wall until you bleed out of your ears. But me, I just wanted another baby.
So when are you supposed to have one? Here’s the advice I get and HATE (in no particular order):
1. You don’t want two kids in diapers so space them out
2. You want them close enough together so they can play together
3. You want them far enough apart so the older one can help out
4. 35 is when all the bad stuff starts happening, so do it before your 35
5. Wait until your youngest is a year old
6. Wait until your youngest is able to more or less care for themselves
7. What if you get early menopause? Just have one now.
8. Just think of all the women who can’t have babies, you should have them when you can
9. Wait until you have a bigger house
10. Wait until you get a bigger car
11. Wait until you can afford another one
12. There’s no difference in feeding 2 or 3 children, so just have another one
13. God said have as many as you want so go for it
14. You don’t want two toddlers, space them out
15. Wait until your youngest is potty trained
This list can go on in infinitum.
My view on it, which may differ from my husbands, is that if we wait until we can afford 3 kids, we’ll end up not having anymore children. I don’t think you can look at it like a math problem and say “ok, this child will cost me exactly $xx,xxx per year, I must increase my income by that deficit”. I’m not getting any younger, and even though I feel like I’m 23, I’m sure as hell not. Clock’s a ticking. I think it took us a year to get prego the first time and it may take us that long again. We seriously have no control over it.
So when should you have another baby? When the stork delivers one to your doorstep is a safe answer!
Topics: Uncategorized |
February 29th, 2008 at 3:27 am
I have 17 months between my first two kids. Its nice enough. Yes I had two in nappies for a while, yes it was hard, but we have survived. They are now at a really nice age and generally play well together. W turned 3 in Nov, P will turn 2 in April. We are now trying for number 3.
I think the issue with it is that its different for everyone. Two in nappies was easy. Better than a new baby and a toilet training toddler. In my opinion. When you are ready go for it.
Your body will let you have a baby when its ready. Generally it wont when you aren’t.
Good luck. Enjoy your current one and don’t wish him away for the next one. Something I am guilty of often enough to say to try and stear away from that.
February 29th, 2008 at 9:18 am
by the time i give birth to my second son in a few weeks time, my first born would be about 17 months. we didn’t plan my second pregnancy, but we’re so happy we were given another blessing when we know a lot of people having a hard time having just one.
and i agree, if you wait until you can afford another one, you’ll end up not having that another one at all. this is just one of the many things that we have no control over.
February 29th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
God decided for us. I found myself pregnant with Isaac while on birth control pills. Eric was just over 2 when he was born and I won’t lie, it wasn’t easy. And no he was NOT potty trained before Isaac came along. I don’t think it will be a walk in the park no matter what the spacing is. If your ready than go for it.
Also if you want to know about temping and charing to TTC let me know. It works awesome!
~Jess~
Eric (5)
Isaac (2)
Baby # 3 EDD 10.9.08!
m/c 6/04 @ 5w, 6/07 @ 5w and 11/07 @ 10w
My blog: http://jessthemama.blogspot.com
February 29th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
I’m with you…it’s entirely up to you (and, I believe, God of course), but my kids are 4 and 1/2 years apart and things are fine there.
Personally, growing up, I was the oldest and my parents wanted to have their children close together (they also wanted like 5 or 6…they had 3), but it just didn’t turn out that way for them…I’m 7 and 1/2 years older than my brother and I’m 10 and 1/2 years older than my sister. It’s not a big deal now as we are all adults, but it was nice for my parents who had a “quasi-builtin” babysitter in me when I was in high school and my siblings we just in kindergarten and 2nd grade (I say quasi, because my parents DID let me make plans and would get another babysitter if there was a conflict…so I had a life back then I just had to plan a little bit in advance). We’re all fine too. The funny thing for my parents is I think they’re young and my sister thinks they’re old